Love's Tribulations
by Ramica
Summary: Mike is about to learn the course of true love doesn't run smooth and sometimes bring unexpected surprizes.
1. Shay

                                       Love's Tribulations 

 Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

 Author's Note: This story was actually inspired by another piece of fanfic called Ramie by AJ. After reading it one day I thought to myself what if it went a different way and this here is my answer.

 Rated- R For drug use, and adult situations.

Part one- Shay.

  I was heading home after a night of fooling around with Raph and Casey they had decided to stop for a beer and while I could have joined them it wasn't really my thing. I didn't care much for bars.

  I stopped on a rooftop overlooking Central Park. There was a wind blowing and a full moon was overhead not that you could notice it with the glare from the many city lights. It was a really nice night. The sort of night I enjoyed.

  Then I heard a sound that alerted me to possible trouble coming from a back alley. I am not like Raph I don't go looking for trouble but then again I don't like seeing someone get hurt and if there was a way to prevent that from happening then I was more than willing to help out.

 I followed the noise to the alley and scoped out the scene from a fire escape four guys had a lone female down on the ground they were beating her with their fists and trying to rip off her clothes. She was struggling kicking and flailing with her fist but she was outnumbered and didn't stand a chance. I smiled knowing that I could handle these scum. Such a pity Raph and Casey weren't around to join in they'd appreciate the fun but I didn't really need them.

 I leaped silently from the fire escape to the ground keeping to the shadows of the alley. I landed a good hard kick into one of the fellows towering over the girl hit him right into a pile of garbage. Rather fitting I thought. 

 In no time I had them all away from her. I tossed the last of the four away near his buddies. Far too easy but at least now they had their choice of leaving or coming for me because I now stood between them and the girl. These guys obviously weren't playing with a full deck because they came at ME.

 I guess they hadn't had enough from the first time around or figured on rushing me all at once. What ever it was it almost made me laugh. I just love hoods with low mentality levels they are so much fun to play with. I figured if they wanted to play so badly I was still game.

 It was a light work out for me didn't even have to use my chucks a few punches and kicks and a couple of easy throws and those guys finally decided they had enough and left. Well at least they weren't too dumb to learn at any rate.

 I laughed at their retreating backs before turning to check the girl out. She was lying unconscious and I could see a bump on her head. She had also been cut badly by a knife. Funny I wonder why they hadn't pulled the knife on me. Probably hadn't thought of it. I know I hadn't seen a weapon in any of their hands.

  I couldn't see much more in this dark alley and decided to bring her on home. I could have taken her to a hospital but she didn't look like she had any identification on her so getting medical treatment at a hospital could prove difficult. Besides home wasn't too far off.

  When I arrived with her still unconscious in my arms Leo gave me this questioning look. Sometimes I swear he acts more like Splinter than Splinter does.

 " Mikey what are you doing?" he asked as he watched me.

 " Some guys were beating on her and were about to rape her. I couldn't leave her in the alley for someone to find it just wouldn't be right for that white knight in armor image you know?" I teased him as I laid her down on our battered couch.

 She was thin long bodied, with dark hair that fell past her waist, her clothes what hadn't been torn at least was a tight fitting shirt and a short black skirt. She was barefoot and I figured she had to have lost or kicked off her shoes before she had entered the alley because I hadn't seen any spare shoes around there.

 I glanced up and saw Leo entering the living room together. I guess Leo did have to tell him about her. Splinter came and checked her over and started issuing gentle orders.

 None of her cuts were bad enough to require stitching so we just bandaged her up and we managed to get it done before she managed to wake up.

 She sat up gazing with large eyes, her pupils were dilated and she mumbled something about a bad trip as she looked at us.

 Great a drug user THAT could almost work in our favor. We could return her topside and she would never even know that we were real or even existed that is if she would remember us once she came down.

 " Hi I'm Mike what's your name?"

 She didn't seem phased by my question in the least as if she was use to seeing something like us every day course with a drug user you can never be too sure WHAT they see.

 " Shay" She responded.

 " Shay is that like your first or last name?" I wondered.

 " It's just Shay" she snapped slightly defensive.

 Splinter had disappeared but he returned with a cup of tea probably one of his medicinal herb teas. She sat up taking the mug from him and silently sipping the hot drink. I waited patiently to see what Splinter's and Leo's verdict would be on her.

 " How old are you Shay?" Leo asked.

 " Fifteen."

 She didn't look it but I suppose she could be.

 " Do you have a home to go to?" Splinter inquired.

 " No I live on the street."

 " Do you have a family?" Splinter questioned.

 " No."

 Or if she did she wasn't going to tell us about them. My bet was she was a runaway trying to lose herself in the crowds of the big apple. Probably getting by in the way most street kids did by stealing, living out of dumpsters, selling and using drugs, or selling her body for money. We'd seen the likes before and we would see it again I'm sure.

 Some kids choose that lifestyle because they feel they have no other choice and others feel it is better than the life they have at home and some might do it out of plain rebellion itself. It didn't really matter how they ended up on the streets the hard thing was so many of them died on the streets too and a lot of them wouldn't even look into the resources offered for fear of being taken back to their homes.

 Splinter gazed at her for a moment or two before speaking " You are welcome to stay here Shay until you are better but you will not use drugs in our home."

 Shay nodded " Sure whatever." She replied simply.

 I grinned I was hoping she would stay for a while I really wanted to learn a little more about her. I told Shay she could sleep in my room and I'd sleep on the couch. When I returned from taking her to show her the washroom and my bedroom I heard Leo talking to Splinter I knew he was questioning the idea of having Shay here but I also knew the MASTER had spoken and Leo wouldn't get Splinter to reverse the words of welcome.

 Next morning I knocked softly on the door of my bedroom to see if Shay was awake and she told me to come in. She was sitting up on the bed and looking around seeming to be a little more alert and with it then she had been the night before, and the look in her green grey eyes told me she was wondering where the hell she was. 

 She looked up as I came in and gave a small scream as if I was the last thing she'd been expecting and she backed up against the wall.

 " Take it easy Shay. Don't you remember me from last night?"

 " Sort of I just thought…I dunno," she shrugged " So you are real?"

 " Yeah I am."

 " What are you?" her tone was one of fear and uncertainty mingled together.

 " Haven't you ever seen a walking talking turtle before Shay?"

 " No. I don't know if I want to" she muttered.

 " Gee and after I helped you last night. That is what I call gratitude" I teased her gently.

 " You… You're the one who helped me from those guys?"

 " Well sure. I couldn't let them hurt you."

  " Thanks" she whispered. Then I heard her mutter something about quitting and going clean. Poor Shay she was really having a hard time with this.

 " Good idea Shay, drugs only mess things up. I find life can be pretty good without them. Only just a warning to you Shay even if you do go clean I'll still be a walking talking turtle. So what were you on?"

 " Depends. Whatever I could get I would do. I am not fussy."

 " Your life really that bad Shay or are you just trying to feel better?"

 She didn't answer that question just stared at me with her cold hard eyes.

 " Okay you don't have to answer that do you want something to eat?" I relented.

 " Nothing to eat just coffee black if you have it."

 " Can do." When I returned with her coffee I told her about us why we were the way we were and told her again that she was welcome to stay just no drug use allowed in our home.

 She glanced down at her skimpy outfit and muttered that she'd need a change of clothes soon.

 " Leave it to us Shay we'll get you some."

 " Same way street people do Shay we raid dumpsters or thrift store bins for clothing. Sometimes when my brothers and I go topside we have to mingle closely with people so we use clothes to disguise ourselves with. Most people don't even notice that we are a little different then most." I didn't tell her that sometimes when I mingle like that I have a strong urge to reveal who I am and I really have to fight it back.

  I figured Shay was now as ready as she would ever be to meet the rest of the family so I convinced her to join me out in the lair.

 Splinter was relaxing in his favorite armchair and smiled as he saw her " How are you feeling today Shay?" he asked her.

 " Fine. Just fine" she mumbled under her breath.

 Raph eyed her up and down as usual he wasn't about to say what he was thinking not with Splinter there " How long you been on the streets?"

 " Over a year now."

 Raph nodded he knew as we all did the longer you were out on the streets the harder it was to get off of them and the more violence you open yourself up to. A person had to learn to get hard and smart fast on the streets or pay the consequences. 

 Shay seemed awfully jittery that day I don't know if it was because of the residue effects of the drugs in her system, just being around us or a bit of both.

  As the next few days passed she seemed to relax a little more around us but still she wouldn't open up much about where she was from or things like that.

 We had found some changes of clothes for her and she seemed in no big hurry to head up to the streets and pretty much kept to herself.

 She'd watch our practices and I noticed she'd often keep a close eye on Raph during our workouts.

 Personally I was hoping she would take an interest in me. I mean hey who wouldn't want ME? But I knew that wasn't the sort of choice to be forced on someone else. Still why couldn't she have gone for Don or Leo instead of with Raph?

 I like Raph don't get me wrong there we are close friends after all but his temper could get more than a little out of hand and I was afraid of what Shay might think when she actually saw Raph at his worst and sooner or later I knew it would happen. Just because he hadn't revealed the firecracker part of himself to her yet didn't mean it wasn't there.

  Around a week after she came into our lives Raph and Leo got into it over the usual thing Raph being too irresponsible and Leo being the overprotective brother lecturing to Raph about all his many faults and shortcomings. Those two are just too opposite to get along. I didn't pay much attention I was use to it by now but I glanced over at Shay to see what she was making of this. There was an eager intent look on her face as she watched them her eyes locked on Raph and I realized this display of his temper wasn't scaring her off at all. No instead she seemed to like that side of him.

 I went over to talk to her and she smiled at me.

 " Raph always like this?"

 " Sometimes he's worse. Leo just wants him to be more responsible and Raph won't do it they get into a lot of battles over it. Broken a lot of furniture too not that you would notice much with our stuff." I explained.

 I could see her eyes sparkling and I knew then by the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that somehow someway Raph's temper had just earned him Shay.

 I could only hope Raph wouldn't hurt her.

 Oh, I knew Raph wouldn't beat her up or anything like that. She was a female and we were all raised to respect females and we never hit them unless they were out to kill us but I also knew there were many ways to be hurt and Shay coming from off the streets had probably had her share of being hurt as it was. Maybe that was it Shay might be use to getting hurt and choose someone who would hurt her.

  All I knew was at the moment Raph was who she wanted. She was drawn to him the same way a moth is drawn towards the light.

 She started flirting with Raph quite openly and I hated seeing it wanting her to come to me and pay attention to me I had found her, I had helped her but it was Raph she wanted. Raph typically didn't say no to any of her advances and come ons. So it wasn't much of a surprise when she moved into Raph's bedroom at night.

 Usually I couldn't hear much between Raph's room and mine but maybe because Shay was in there I listened more carefully to what was going on, on the other side of the wall that separated our rooms.

 I heard enough to know what they were doing them calling out each other's names the moans of passion and I hated hearing it wished I could shut it all out. I tried to ignore what I heard and failed miserably wishing even more that Shay were mine instead of Raph's.

  I don't know if either of them really loved the other. They hadn't known each other all that long and Shay may be very use to giving her body to whoever whenever not for love but as a means to get money and drugs.

  Raph became very possessive of Shay and she didn't seem to mind. Even outside the privacy of his bedroom they would be all over each other about the only time they showed any discretion is when Splinter was in the same room.

 It hurt seeing them groping and kissing each other so much wanting Shay's touches and kisses for me. I couldn't lay claim to her just because I had saved her life. She had picked Raph for herself and Raph knew as well as I did that it was Shay's choice on who she was going to be with. So I knew even if I tried I wouldn't gain Shay's love or interest in any way shape or form.

 She had been with Raph a little over two weeks when they started fighting with one another. Just little spats at first but it grew from there. The whole lair grew tense not knowing when or where one would lit into the other and yet at night I could still hear them having sex.

 One night when Raph was out I had a talk with Shay. I cared about her and I was worried about her even though I knew she felt nothing for me.

 " Shay are you happy with Raph?"

   " No Mike I'm never happy with any guy."

  " You don't have to stay with him you know. You never have to stay with someone you can't see eye to eye with. You don't even have to stay here if you don't want to stay that is."

 " I feel safe here Mike. Safer then I've felt in a long time. I'm not sure about going back up above I'm afraid I'll get into situations that I just don't need to be in right now. Down here it's different."

 " Yeah I know what you mean." I smiled reached out brushed a lock of hair out of her face " Why aren't you happy with anyone Shay? I mean it is your choice who you want to be with."

 " My choice to be happy or who I want to be with?" she asked hesitantly.

 " Both Shay."

 She flopped down on the couch and pulled her knees to her chest curled her arms around her legs as if shutting herself off from the world " Maybe. And maybe not. See Mike I never seem to go for people who will be nice I always go for Raph types. Something both dark and dangerous in anger. I don't like it and at the same time I do."

 " Were your parents abusive to you Shay?"

 She laughed at that comment though I hadn't been trying to be funny.

 " My parents were very loving and VERY strict. I couldn't stand all their rules about how I should dress and who I could see and a whole bunch of other crap so I left to live my own life."

 Ah ha I think I was starting to understand she ran away from rules, authority figures. Her parents probably didn't like her going out with certain angry type fellows and she might of wanted them just out of rebellion alone.

 " Shay you can be with anyone YOU want to girl. It is up to you to decide what you want out of life. Do you want to be happy? Then try to do what makes you happy if you are happy with angry fellows okay but if you aren't then maybe you ought to try some other type."

 After that night Shay and I talked quite a bit about all kinds of things we were getting to be close friends if nothing else while Raph and her continued to battle and love each other.

 She had been with us a month when one night I heard her and Raph battling again and then Raph go storming out in a fit of temper. I could hear Shay crying alone in his room. I layed there for a while listening to her sobs and I finally decided I ought to go and comfort her a little give her a shoulder to cry on at the very least.

 I went and knocked on the bedroom door and when Shay opened it and saw me she threw her arms around my neck burying her face in my neck as she cried.

 " What is a matter Shay? Raph didn't hurt you did he?"

 " No Mike…I just…I'm so tired of all of this and…"

 She clung tightly to me and I didn't feel comfortable about going into Raph's room with her though I doubted he'd be back before morning. So I bent and picked her slight body up in my arms and carried her over to the couch and sat her down on my lap " If you don't want to be with him tell him Shay" I pleaded with her. My heart aching for her.

 " I …I can't Mike. I'm scared of what he might do" She chocked out between her sobs.

  I guess I could understand that with how possessive Raph had become of her. I knew from what I had overheard of their many battles that Raph didn't even want her spending much time with the rest of us. Not that he could really stop it. Besides Shay and I talked often while he was out doing his own thing and we didn't need a chaperone or his permission for it.

 " He won't do anything Shay. I won't let him hurt you ever all right? But you have to stand up to him too."

 " I want to I just don't know if I can."

 " You can trust yourself. Raph will know it is over when you tell him it is and only then." I assured her.

 " Oh Mike I think you are the only true friend I ever had in my life."

 " Nonsense Shay. You also have Don, Leo and Master Splinter to talk to."

  " They aren't here with me now. You are."

  Next thing I knew she was kissing me and I felt myself respond to that kiss. I felt her tongue enter my mouth and caress my mouth and tongue. I trembled slightly.

 I'd been wanting her in my own way for so long. I didn't realize then, maybe I didn't want to that she was only lonely. I thought she cared for me for her kisses were full of passion and intensity that I couldn't ignore. I found myself returning her kisses and starting to caress her gently with my fingers and things just seemed to go from there.

 We ended up in my room and that night it was me she made love with it was my name she cried out in the heat of our passion.

 I tried to be gentle with her to prove to her that I did care for her and I wanted her happy. I know she made me very happy that night. I didn't know then that it wasn't love on her part though it was love on mine.

 Afterwards we lay side by side talking to each other before she went back to Raph's room before Raph came home and shit hit the fan as it were.

  The next morning at breakfast Raph returned and draped an arm around her shoulders bent and whispered something in her ear and she took his hand and went to follow him.

 " Shay do you really want to?" I couldn't help calling after her.

 Raph turned giving me a dark warning look " What's it to you Mike?"

 " I just want to be sure it is what Shay wants Raph."

 " Don't get your hopes up Mikey. Shay is MINE!"

 " Shay ISN"T a pet Raph she is a human and it is HER choice as much as it is yours," I reminded him firmly.

 " It's all right Mike. I don't mind" Shay mumbled.

 " That isn't what you…" I started to protest.

 Raph glowered and growled at me and I fell silent Shay had made her choice again.

 Gods! How could she keep doing this to me? I mean all of these ups and downs and spin arounds reminded me of some wild amusement park ride and somehow on this ride I was always in the back with the brakes slammed on hard enough to cause whiplash.

 WOMEN! Go figure! I was really starting to wonder about the opposite sex.

TBC


	2. Love's little surprise

                            Love's Tribulations

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership to any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Part 2 Loves's Little Surprise.

 It was only about four days later though that Raph tried to talk Shay into heading into his room during the middle of the day and she just turned and quite bluntly told him to go fuck himself. She was tired of him and tired of feeling used and if she was going to feel used he might as well be paying for the service she was providing him.

 That proved it she was a street girl in every sense of the word.

 Raph wasn't pleased by her choice of words but I could tell that Shay had finally had enough of him so I stepped between Raph and her. I turned and looked at her " Go on Shay it's all right" I informed her before turning my attention on Raph " You have had your fun Raph so just leave her alone now."

 " NO!" Raph barked sharply " Shay is MINE!"

 Shay went over and shrank into a small ball on the couch proving at least that while she might like Raph and his temper she didn't like it when it turned on her. I knew the quickest way to distract Raph from her even though it would be slightly suicidal on my part. What a way to commit seppuku for the love and honor of a woman and here I went playing the fool again. I just hoped this time Shay would stick by her word.

  I kicked out at Raph pushing him away and that was ALL it took for him to turn on me. He always did have a short fuse. Very easy to light, a little too easy at times. The big problem was once it was lit there was no turning back until he calmed down or took off. I wasn't looking for trouble so I just did my best to block the blows he threw my way and stay on my feet while trying to let him blow off steam.

  He still managed to slip past my defenses and land a couple of hard blows and finally he managed to throw me in spite of all my cautions to prevent it. I crashed down hard into the coffee table breaking it and I just lay where I was. I knew Raph well enough to know that if I got up he'd continue the fight. He had to feel that he had beaten me.

 I all ready knew that I was going to be bruised and stiff before the day was through but I was quite willing to take the fall. Let's face it I all ready had.

 Shay moved off the couch and by my side she glared hard at Raphael " It is over Raph. It should have been over weeks ago and you know that as well as I do." She told him in a quivery voice. She had a lot of nerve facing him like that.

 Raph just stood there looking from her to me and back at her again " Fine Mike you can have her I don't need the bitch anyways" he snarled at me.

 I had never felt more like decking Raph then I did at that moment. My fist clenched tight by my side as Raph stalked off pushing past Splinter and Leo who had come in to check out the commotion.

 I knew that Raph was only upset and angry about his relationship with Shay falling a part but that was no need to go calling her what he had. Only Shay's gentle hands offering to help me to my feet and her presence close by me stopped me from going after my brother and really giving him what for.

 Shay stayed with me after that. She never even gave Raph a second glance and if Raph ever missed what he once shared with her he hid it well but then again he knew that what Shay had said was true their relationship was over and that was that. Raph and I did make up and become friends again we had been friends for too long that we could never really stay angry at each other. Even when Raph did get mad at me he would make it up with me faster than any one else in our family. Though I did inform Raph to NEVER call Shay by any derogatory names around me I wasn't going to stand for THAT.

  Shay and I talked a lot she started to tell me a bit more about her past not much but I didn't press her for details I was happy whenever she cared to share with me the bits and pieces of her past. I was starting to get a clearer picture of her life before she came into my life. 

 We spent a great deal of our time together both during the day and at night. We'd head up topside at night and spend some time just roaming together or climbing up to the rooftops to watch the city below us.

 We made love too, and there was no doubt in my mind I knew she did care for me now. I felt on top of the world whenever she told me she loved me and I would have done just about anything she asked me to do for her. Yeah I have to admit I was head over heels in love with Shay and I just couldn't get enough of being around her.

  The best part of it all was Shay who had always been so quiet and sad before started to laugh and smile more often. I think I had a lot to do with that with all my joking and teasing she had a great deal to laugh at and about. Me I loved to hear her laugh. She had the prettiest laugh I had ever heard. It was so nice to see her smiling and happy.

  The tension that had built up while Raph and Shay had been together drained off slowly and things started to feel more normal around home.

  Shay had been with me almost three weeks when one day she woke not feeling well. I figured she had a touch of the flu or something. The bug hung on for a few days and she complained of being nauseous. She had left that afternoon to get some fresh air not that there was a lot of that around New York mind you and she didn't stay out long. That evening I asked her to come out with me but she just wanted to stay at home and take it easy.

 So I went out and was trying to think of a way to cheer her up and hoping what ever she had would move on soon I ended up buying her a little teddy bear and a single red rose. I would have liked to have bought her a dozen roses but I really couldn't afford that what I had bought had just about broke me.

 I returned home and went into my room to offer her the gifts I had bought for her. I found her sitting on the edge of my bed a sort of distant and scared look on her face.

 " Shay what's a matter?"

 " I'm late" She whispered.

 I didn't understand what she meant by that at first " What do you mean late?" I asked her.

 " I'm almost two weeks late Mike. I've never been more than three days late in my life and usually I'm early."

 Then it dawned on me what she was saying and I felt a cold pit enter my stomach. Oh no tell me it wasn't so. Tell me it couldn't be possible. Tell me anything just don't tell me she was pregnant. Then again we hadn't used any precautions against it so it might be true.

 " I'm sorry Shay we should have done…taken something to prevent this I just didn't think about it."

 " I did Mike. I mean on the streets I always used precautions and I had myself checked for STD's and I know I'm clean that way. It's just I ran out while I was still with Raph and he told me it wouldn't matter because we weren't the same species after all."

 " Yeah but the mutation changed a lot of things about us Shay and it is quite possible that it changed that part of us as well. Raph and I both should have been more careful just because of that. Are you sure that is what it is Shay?"

 She nodded hanging her head " I went to the drugstore got a pregnancy test kit. I don't have the flu Mike. I have morning sickness."

 Even as she said this I knew the baby inside of her could just as easily be Raph's as it was mine. I was only sixteen I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a daddy yet and I knew Raph wasn't exactly daddy material. The whole thought scared me.

 Shay started to cry and I pulled her into my arms to comfort her when I knew there were no words to give that would ease her fears or concerns. I had enough of my own doubts suddenly intruding on me things like what would this child looked like? Would it look human? Or would it be more like the pet shop turtles we had mutated from? How would Shay get the medical attention she would need? Any human doctor might easily learn what she carried might not be all human. Perhaps it might be best to abort the child before such things could be noticeable.

 All I knew was I could use some help myself on this subject it was far more than I could deal with alone so I convinced Shay to talk to the family with me and see what they thought about all of this.

 When the family had gathered for the meeting I informed them of Shay being pregnant.

 Don typically seemed very intrigued by that idea and what it all meant. Him and his scientific mind. Raph looked startled as if he wasn't expecting it but then again Shay and I hadn't been expecting this either. Leo and Splinter well they both had the same expression concerned. Then Leo started shooting questions " What were you two thinking? Do you even realize what such a child could be like?" And so on in his usual demanding way. It was also Leo who blurted out that Shay ought to get an abortion soon as she couldn't exactly go to a regular doctor for check ups and any ultrasound would only show that the child might not be normal.

 Splinter spoke up then " Life is precious and valuable Leonardo. It should never be thrown away."

 Shay and I just sat listening as the family discussed and debated the situation all around us. I guess they just needed time to accept the bombshell we had dropped on them before we could expect any worthwhile help or advice. 

  Shay sat by my side shaking as she listened to them biting her bottom lip and finally she broke standing up and yelling at them " I can't take this!" she hurried off to my room bursting into tears as she left.

 I went after her worried about what she might do to herself with all of this emotional turmoil that had to be going on not only inside of her but now around her as well. I found her lying on our bed shaking all over and crying. I sat down beside her and pulled her into my arms holding and rocking her.

 " Mike I never stopped to think about what the child would look like I… you guys all seem so human more human even then a lot of people that I know that it is hard to think of you as turtles and…I'm so scared Mike. 

 I don't want to keep making mistakes but it seems my whole life is just one big mistake and it keeps getting worse and worse as time goes on. Now I might end up making the worst mistake of all by deciding what I'm suppose to do about THIS. If I have this child will that be a mistake? If I abort it will that be a mistake? Can I …Will I be able to live with myself knowing I killed a living thing? And I know it is alive Mike, I know I'd be killing it. What am I suppose to do?"

 " I dunno Shay" I admitted truthfully as I held her close to me " this has got to be one of the hardest decisions that any one could make at any age never mind at our age. I guess you just have to decide to do whatever you feel is best for you. I mean if you give birth you might not be able to give the child up for adoption you know, so it will be either keep it or abort it I guess. 

 You know I love you Shay and no matter what you decide to do I'll stand by you and help you no matter what all right? I think it will be more your decision than it is mine because it is your body and you are the one who is going have to deal with carrying the child for nine months or aborting it. Each of them I'm sure has there own problems to deal with. I'll be here to help you with that it is about all I can offer you. I will stick by your decision and I'll help you in every way that I can. I promise you I will."

 " Why can't we ever fix our mistakes Mike?" she moaned softly.

 " Who says you can't Shay? I mean sure problems like this are pretty hard to deal with but there are some problems that are a whole lot easier to fix you know. Sometimes all it takes to fix a problem is to apologize, other times you have to work at fixing your problems to work things out."

 Shay sniffed and wiped at her eyes " I just wish I could change my mistakes."

 " What kind of mistakes Shay?"

 " My whole life of mistakes Mike."

 I didn't know what I expected her to tell me but trust me what I heard could never measure up to what I was expecting to hear form her. She spilled out her whole story to me then. 

 Her true name was Cassandra Stephens Shay was only a nick name she had, had for some time and she went by it more often than by her own name. At the age of nine she ended up falling into the wrong crowd at school. Started to smoke cigarettes and drinking alcohol and playing hooky from school. Her parents were not amused and started to lay down the law with her and she fought them rebelling against their wishes and demands. Her grades started to slip and her parents in desperation put her in a private school where she got expelled and ended up hanging out at shopping malls shop lifting and doing drugs before she had even reached age eleven. Her parents started taking away all privileges and grounding her but she snuck out and would do what she wanted. By the time she was twelve and a half she started to see older guys fourteen year olds who were also wild and angry types they convinced her to put out for them.

 Her parents must have really been at wit's end with their only child. They sounded like they cared about her often trying to bail her out of trouble or correct her ways. She saw it as an intrusion into her life a way of them trying to run and control every aspect of her life. According to her she wasn't even suppose to breathe with out their permission. She felt that her parents didn't really love her at all. She ran away from home one night. Stole all the money out of her parent's wallets and some of her mother's better jewelry to hock later. She caught a bus to New York. The money she had didn't last her very long and so she started to do what she needed to, to survive which meant living out of dumpsters and selling her body for money, drugs or alcohol. She didn't want to go home yet she felt that after all she had done her parents wouldn't want her back and probably considered themselves well rid of all the hassles she had caused them. Besides money was tight and she just didn't feel sure what sort of reception she would get if she returned home to her family. She felt safer staying in New York. She had been here a year. One more thing Shay told me was that she had originally lied about her age she was going to be fourteen next month. Now here she was pregnant and scared of making another bad choice.

 That was a lot to digest in a few minutes of thinking.

 " Listen Shay darling, you know the fact that you realize that you have made a lot of mistakes is a good thing at least it can be if you choose to learn from them. I think your parents would like to hear from you just to let them know you are alive and haven't been killed or what have you. You don't have to go home if you don't want to Shay but I think you ought to consider touching base with them at any rate. You know that you have done some things in your life that you might not be too proud of so you probably aren't too happy with yourself or your life because of it but I also believe that you can change it if you want to Shay because I know deep inside of you is a wonderful, friendly good hearted person. 

 Look it in the time you have been here you haven't taken any drugs or alcohol and I haven't seen you smoking cigarettes either, so that proves you can change when you want to. To correct your mistakes with your family might be possible as well with a little work from you. Like going back to school, obeying your parents rules because they give you rules because they love and care for you Shay. Now why don't you try and get some rest you look tired."

 " Thanks Mike for everything. I don't know what I did to get you in my life but you are the one thing that doesn't feel like a mistake to me. I love you Michael."

 " Michael?" I laughed no one had ever called me that " I like that." I stayed by her until she fell asleep then went out into the living room. Splinter was sitting on the couch obviously waiting to talk to me. I didn't mind Splinter and I never had too many problems other than my usual practical jokes and mischievous ways.

 " How is Shay doing Michaelangelo?"

 " She is resting Master. I told her whatever she decides to do that I will stand by her on it even though I do know it is quite possible the child she is carrying could be Raph's. It isn't a decision that can be made lightly or too quickly and I would rather she took her time and was sure of her choice."

 Splinter nodded and smiled " I am proud of you my son."

 " What for getting a girl pregnant? You are a real easy going parent there Sensei."

 " Not for THAT my son. I fully realize that the young do have certain needs and urges and that you my son also suffer from what any human your age might suffer from so I did not doubt that one day your minds might turn to the opposite sex though I did have my doubts about any one ever accepting you enough to give you their love in that form.

 I'm proud of you for wanting to do the right thing by choosing to stand by her and helping her. Raising children is not easy though it does have its rewarding moments my son. I am fully aware what goes into raising young and if that is her choice and yours as well then you will have my help."

 I was kind of surprised to hear Splinter say all that. I mean first of all the fact that he realized what we went through with raging hormones was a shock in itself but I should have known better not much got past Splinter. I was also glad to know he would help in raising any child if it was born I had a feeling Shay and I could use all the help we could get.

 Shay thought about it for a few days before finally coming to the conclusion that she was going to try and give birth to the child she couldn't abort it she felt that would be the worst possible thing.

 With her decision Don started to check up on everything he could find on pregnancy, childbirth child care the whole bit. He wasn't going to leave anything to chance, as both he and Splinter would be playing doctor to Shay during her pregnancy it was important for them to know what to expect. First sign of any complication and Don wanted to be prepared.

 Leo wasn't as willing to accept our choice as he was sure that trying to have the child could only lead to trouble " You will lose edge in battle Mike and how are you going to look after a child anyways" he went on and on until Splinter finally took his number one son aside and had a nice long talk with him and after that Leo seemed to accept our choice with no more problems or at least none that he voiced.

 That suited me just fine I had Shay to think about after all and we didn't need to be reminded that our child may not be born with the abilities that we ourselves took for granted.

  Raph seemed very uneasy at first and finally one night when we were out he admitted to me that it could very well be his child. I told him that Shay and I both were well aware of that fact.

 " So you wanna be the one to play daddy Raph?"

 " Hell no. Shay is more yours then she was ever mine Mike. She is happy with you. Besides I have no patience I'd end up killing the kid if I was daddy."

 " That was kind of my thoughts too. So what my kid your kid what does it matter? I'll be its father just as Splinter played daddy to us."

 " Yeah I guess you have a point there I just would like to know at some point you know weather it is or isn't my kid."

 " I'm sure Don could do a DNA test or something to determine that for us once the kid is born that is."

 " Right just wait until Casey finds out you are going be a father."

 " Whoa hold on there Raph, don't go making announcements just yet. Due to us being so different Don isn't too sure if Shay will be able to carry the child to term or not. Her body might just naturally reject the fetus if it is too different Don says it happens with human babies too and it often happens in the first three months. I haven't told Shay that because according to Don a mother who is worried or stressed out has more chances of losing the child that way. I think Splinter knew about it and told Leo to lay off. Besides with Shay being so young that can cause a lot of complications on it's own. So let's not tell April or Casey just yet at least not until we are more sure that Shay will make it through this all right?"

 " Sure Mike but what if she doesn't carry to term?"

 " Well then I guess we weren't meant to father children Raph." I said simply. I had a lot of doubts on my own about all of it. I won't deny that a part of me kind of hoped that Shay's body would reject the child growing inside of her it would make things a lot easier on both of us if it did. 

 Another part of me really wanted the child I couldn't help thinking of what a special child it would be. I couldn't wait to see it and hold it. I mean if such a child could be born it would mean something different for ALL of us. The fact that we could father children or have families it was astounding to think about. Yes that child was going to be so special in more ways then one.

  Then there was Shay herself I did all I could to keep her mind at ease. I got her a lot of those nature tapes that are suppose to be so relaxing I had to grit my teeth through them but Shay enjoyed them. So I suffered in silence or put on my headphones to listen to my heavy metal or Jean Michael Jarre tapes. 

 I gave her massages and we spent a great deal of time talking and we still made love now and again I mean hey she was already pregnant so no worries there.

  Shay had these really wild mood swings; all I can say is I was glad all of a sudden that I had grown up in a home, which had Raphael in it, he provided wonderful training for handling Shay's mercurial shifts. I was starting to think that I was dealing with more than one person with all her shifts in temperament.

  Her morning sickness dragged on often well into the afternoon and she had problems keeping anything down but Don and Splinter worked out a diet for her, which included a lot of Splinter's herb teas, and the diet did seem to agree with her.

  When Shay however started to bleed a little I was sure that she was going lose the child but Don said it was normal and ordered Shay to bed rest for a while just to be on the safe side. So I spent my time in the room with her or I would pack her out to lie on the couch and visit with the family.

  It was amazing to see the slight bulge in her belly appear before the end of the second month a sure sign of the life that was growing inside of her. I think that was when I really started to hope that this child would be born. I couldn't even look at human kids the same way and when I looked at Shay I felt so wonderful and alive.

  Shay actually called her parents, she called them collect told me if they refused to accept the charges she would know they didn't want her in their lives anymore. They accepted the charges and she ended up talking to her parents for over an hour. When she finally hung up she burst into tears. I went over took her in my arms and rested my head on top of hers.

  By the end of the third month her belly had grown so much Raph was quite sure that we were going to have a whole bunch of kids. Twins, triplets, quadruplets, anything over and above the number one.

   Her belly only proved that all was as it should be.

  One day during the fourth month when Don was checking Shay out he gave me the stethoscope and for the first time I heard the tiny beat of the little heart inside of her. Shay wanted to hear it too and after listening to the sound she laid back with a relieved sigh " So the baby is okay?"

 Don nodded " Of course why wouldn't it be?" 

 Even as he said that I sensed that Don wasn't saying some thing. I didn't want to get into it with Shay there so I waited until she was resting that afternoon before cornering Don in his lab and demanded to know what it was that he wasn't telling us.

 " Mike you know the baby is doing well."

 " No Don don't hand me that. What is it you are NOT telling us? Are you thinking or do you know something we ought to be aware of?"

 Don rubbed his forehead with one hand " I don't know what to expect Mike. Listen all I can tell you is if the baby was too unnatural Shay's body would have rejected it by now so it can't be too different if she still is carrying it. The baby seems to be progressing in the normal HUMAN way meaning it has to be receiving nourishment through an umbilical cord."

 " But…" I added for him

 " No buts, Mike. If the baby is progressing in the human way then perhaps it will end up being more human then turtle."

 " So neither Raph or I are the father?"

 " No Mike that isn't what I'm saying. The baby has to be one of yours but it might not have inherited many turtle characteristics, which means there is a better chance it will be born without too many complications.

 There are just too many variables in this Mike. Things that are not a part of a human pregnancy but I have to take into effect because of who we are. Like if the baby were a turtle how would it receive nourishment through an umbilical cord? I mean the shell would hinder that process. Just because we haven't had any problems doesn't mean there won't be any Mike."

 So that was all it was Don was still expecting complications and to be truthful I was too.

 We finally told Casey and April the news as Shay could really use some maternity clothes and were hoping April might have a few friends who could provide us with them. Casey had to give both Raph and I a bad time. Me for getting laid and getting my girl pregnant. Raph well as Casey put it he was expecting that sort of thing more form him then from me and when was Raph going to find himself a girl and settle down.

  We saw to it that Shay ate well or as well as could be expected considering how tight money was in our home. We would find lost money here or there or we would collect bottles and cans for Casey or April to return for us for the deposit on them but most of our money Don made by fixing electrical equipment for friends of April's and Casey's for a decent price. April would grocery shop for us and we often had the feeling that she threw in extras for us and now that she knew about Shay those extras became more apparent.

  Shay and I were growing closer every day. We talked about all kinds of things especially about the baby. The baby was always an important discussion. We didn't worry about names because we knew if the baby had the intelligence of a pet shop turtle it wouldn't come to a name anyways. We didn't worry about weather it was a boy or girl no we both wanted it to be healthy and intelligent that was all we wanted from our child and we knew the odds against it.

  I recalled one night lying by Shay's side her back pressed up against my plastron in bed and my arm over her ever growing belly I was nuzzling her neck. When I felt the baby move under my arm.

 " Whoa neat."

 " What Michael?" Shay asked she had taken to calling me Michael. She said Mikey sounded like a little kid and Michaelangelo was too much of a mouthful.

 " The baby just moved," I whispered feeling it move again and feeling my smile grow wider.

 " Hmm, he's been kicking up a storm all day I would have told you earlier but I was afraid he would quit just to prove me a liar." She replied. Sometimes she called the baby he sometimes she depending on her mood.

 " Has to be my kid then I'd do something like that."

 I lay there feeling the thumps of the baby as it moved under her belly feeling totally in awe of it all.

 " I think he wants to get started on his ninjitsu" Shay teased me.

 " You have to get him a bigger dojo babe," I said.

 " I'm big enough already. I feel fat and ugly and I can't wait to get my body back again," She half sobbed.

 " Shay you are beautiful," I told her leaning up and over her " And I love you very much" I bent and kissed her and she returned my kiss eagerly.

 When I broke off the kiss she looked up at me " What did I ever do to deserve you in my life Michael?"

 " I could say the same about you Shay. I mean what other female would ever give us mutant turtles the time of day."

 In her fifth month Shay started to bleed heavily and Don ordered bed rest once again only by that point Shay's bladder was also over active and so she spent almost as much time in the bathroom as in bed she told me she'd just sleep in the bathtub and save us both time. Luckily she seemed to recover without losing the child.

 That was also the month the cravings started. I use to think that I had strange ideas for pizza toppings but her cravings were enough to turn MY hard stomach. The cravings usually hit in the middle of the night and as luck would have it we wouldn't have any of the ingredients at home so I would have to get suited up and go out to buy the craving of the evening. What was REALLY bad was she NEVER had the same craving twice in a row oh no, and DON'T even bother suggesting last night's craving for tonight it wouldn't work.

 I was already more than tired of this whole pregnancy thing and lord knows how Shay felt about it all. All I knew is it would be a very long time before I put myself through this again.

 Then there was Raph he never missed an opportunity to tease me and crack jokes about my late night shopping sprees. I envied him and the fact that he was free while I was busy with a pregnant girl what galled me was the fact it MIGHT very well be HIS kid I was doing all of this for.

 I was really beginning to wonder what I had let myself in for when I had agreed to this.

 Don started to teach Shay and I about natural childbirth techniques before she had entered her seventh month he wanted time for us to prepare for the birth and supplied videos, books and other things to help with our training for the up coming event.

 By the time Shay was in her seventh month she was easily offended one wrong word from me and I would be sleeping on the couch for the night. Like the day she complained when trying to get out of a chair that she felt like a turtle on it's back.

 I told her us boys had no problems getting up when we were on our backs and she GOT upset- hell I was only joking but her sense of humor had been going downhill. I apologized profusely but still ended up sleeping on the couch. I told myself the pregnancy could only last a few more months. 

 Shay was complaining about back aches a lot now I think at this point we would both be happy to see the child enter the world not that our troubles would be over when it did. Far from it we would then have a child to raise and look after for many years to come.

TBC


	3. Special Love

                           Love's  Tribulations

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their Master.

Part Three Special Love.

As Shay entered her eighth month of pregnancy we boys entered our seventeenth year. We marked our birthday as the day we had mutated. Shay was still kicking me out of my own room and bed at night more often then not but I didn't mind too much because Splinter would come and talk to me. I grew a lot closer to him and he would often tell me stories about what he went through when he was raising us. The sort of trouble that Raph and I both caused him. It gave me a whole new respect for our Sensei realizing what we had to have put him through. I mean Shay and I would at least have the family to help us out when the child arrived. Splinter raised the four of us on his own. Splinter would often after reminiscing about those early days remark that he hoped I would have a child just like me when I was a kid so I could fully understand what he had gone through. Personally I didn't think that we needed two of me around home besides the whole family would have to put up with the little terror then so if Splinter was smart he ought to be wishing for the kid to end up more like Don or Leo.

When I told him that he only sighed and replied, " With you or Raphael as the father I highly doubt that."

Shay was about halfway through the eighth month when she started to feel what she thought were contractions starting up after lunch. She didn't say anything at first as she wanted to be more sure and when she announced it Don came over to check her out timing the next couple.

 " If you have been having them for awhile now and right now they are only fifteen minutes a part we do have some time Shay."

" It's too early Don" Shay protested.

 " Babies from what I have read seem to choose their own time Shay. At this stage we don't have to worry it is only about half a month early. Or it is quite possible that we have simply miscalculated when you first conceived and you could be right on time" Don soothed her.

Don then went to the infirmary to try and prepare as much as possible before hand so that it would be ready when the time arrived.

I kept timing her contractions as I sat by her side and held her hand she would squeeze my hand hard in hers each time another one gripped her.

" Get her up and walking around a little it will help her a bit."

I helped Shay to her feet with Leo on one side of her and me on the other we walked around the lair.

" How are you doing Shay?" I wondered.

 " I'll be glad when this is all over and I'll have my own body back again. Oh gods it hurts!" She gasped through gritted teeth and crushed both Leo's hand and mine. Leo didn't look like he was to amused by that but he didn't say anything. Through out Shay's pregnancy he had remained silent but I knew he still wasn't too happy with the idea of the baby being brought into our lives.

When her water broke we figured it was time to get Shay into the infirmary where I helped her strip down accept for her maternity blouse and I picked her up laid her on the bed and covered her over with some blankets as Splinter and Don washed up to prepare for the delivery.

I pulled up a chair by Shay's bedside. It had been placed there for me to use, as my job during the delivery was to help keep Shay focused on breathing and encouraging her through out. Don had placed a small bowl of water on the bedside table and a cloth nearby to wipe on Shay's face in case she needed it.

Don meanwhile was checking her dilation " Just about there Shay how are you feeling?"

" It hurts! I want to push." Shay hissed.

 " Not yet hold on just a little longer. Just breathe like you were taught remember? Everything is going to be just fine Shay." Don vowed.

I sat near watching the pain that came and went with each contraction I had never realized until then how hard it is to bring a life into the world. Plus with Shay being so young it wasn't going to be an easy delivery, first deliveries according to Don's research were never easy and Shay's young age could add to the problem of delivering. A few times Shay squeezed my hand so hard and tight I could have sworn that she just about broke bones in my hand.

A light sweat started to bead on her forehead as Don finally started to get her to push or relax and I wiped her brow murmuring softly to Shay trying my best to comfort her. I was starting to get nervous it seemed to be taking forever for that small life to enter into our world. The baby had seemed to be in such a hurry with the contractions and coming before the full nine months were up but it was it was taking it's sweet time too.

" You're doing real well Shay. How about giving me one big hard push this time huh?" Don asked gently from where he stood at the end of the bed.

 Shay only nodded as I helped her sit up and she pushed in time with the contraction screaming and cursing all male life as she did so. Until panting from exertion she laid back again to relax for the next time.

 " Good work Shay. A couple more like that ought to do it I can see the baby's head now you're almost through" Don encouraged her.

 Shay lay on the bed panting and whimpering but she found the strength to bear down again when Don asked her too but I could see how tired and weak she was getting from it all she had already been in hard labor for about five hours now and that and the pain she was in was taking it's toll on her. I didn't know how much more she could take.

Hell I didn't even know how much more I could take of this.

Don asked her for one more hard push and then announced " The heads free now the rest ought to be easier on you, now push again Shay a real big one okay?"

" I can't Don" Shay moaned tears falling from her eyes.

 " Do it now Shay" Don ordered sharply and firmly.

 She screamed like never before as she gave one final push and the baby finally came the rest of the way into our world.

 " Alright rest now. Splinter can you take care of her she is bleeding a bit see if it needs stitches" Don spoke in a low whisper to his Master as he turned with the tiny bundle.

I sat there wondering why the baby wasn't crying. I don't think Shay realized yet that our child wasn't making any noise. " Don why isn't the baby crying?" I blurted out.

 " It's all right Mike I have to clean out the mouth and the airway first," Don replied calmly from where he stood at the side counter. I glanced down to see Shay whose eyes were starting to look worried and concerned. I was really starting to get scared why was it taking so long?

Maybe the baby couldn't cry? Maybe the mutation hadn't carried over and the baby wouldn't be capable of speech? Maybe the baby had died during the delivery itself? Wouldn't that be ironic for Shay to carry the child and toil so long and hard only for the child to be dead? I sat there by Shay's side comforting her and Splinter mentioned something about Shay having to push to deliver the after birth it would be easier then delivering the child and I sensed my Master was only trying to distract us.

Then I heard a strange sound like a small hacking sound only very tiny and then a cry, which grew louder in volume. It was music to my ears and I let out a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding in.

" Donny?" I asked as Shay rid herself of the afterbirth and even now her eyes seemed to take on a new light at the sound of the cries.

Don turned around the tiny bundle wrapped up in blankets and cradled in his arms making it impossible to see. Don was gazing down at the baby a look of awe on his face. Then he looked up at us and smiled " Congratulations! You are the parents of a baby girl," he announced.

" Is she alright?" Shay asked wearily.

" Yeah she is. She wasn't breathing for a bit there she scared me she did" Don spoke softly more towards the wailing bundle in his arms then to us.

 " I think Shay meant about the mutation did it carry over Don?" I couldn't take much more of this waiting " What does she look like?"

Don walked over to the bed " I think she is beautiful Mike but you tell me." With that said he handed the bundle over to me.

I peeled back the blankets so Shay and I could get our first close look at this miracle baby of ours. She was still crying up a storm, as we looked her over. Tiny human style arms and legs each with five digits at the end of each hand or foot, bits of wispy hair on the top of her head, her skin was scaly like a turtles would be and was a very light shade of green. Her head and face was definitely turtlish and she even had a shell though it was pretty soft to the touch at the moment not hard the way a shell ought to be and there was a small hole in her lower plastron.

" I think her shell actually cut the umbilical cord. It must have closed off around it and broke it off completely. The hole there is pretty small it might close up in time or it might not" Don shrugged.

 I handed the squalling child over to Shay who placed the baby to her breast and the infant began to suckle getting it's first meal with no encouragement needed.

I looked up and saw the strangest look on Sensei's face one I had never seen before as he stood gazing down at Shay and that special wonderful baby which had just entered our lives.

A voice behind us disturbed the silence and awe that filled the infirmary.

" Well we won't be getting any peace and quiet now."

" We never did before not with you around Raph" I teased my brother as I glanced up quickly to see him and Leo in the doorway. They had come at the sound of the baby crying and they now moved forward to take their first look at the newest member of our family.

Raph suddenly got a sappy look all over as he watched the baby and Leo was speechless his eyes filled with wonder. As if Leo had just come to realize what he had been against all along was now something that he could finally accept whole-heartedly.

" What are you going name her?" He asked in a whisper.

 " Don't know yet Leo. Shay and I will have to discuss that I guess."

 " No Michael you name her" Shay stated tiredly fighting back a yawn.

 " Were we ever THAT tiny?" I wondered aloud.

 " Oh yes my sons you all were though that was some time ago and I assure you that you all kept me very busy" Splinter replied.

" Let's see she was born April 15 she weighs in at seven and a half pounds three ounces. Her birth was approximately eight ten p.m. It has been a very long and hard day for mother and baby and I think we ought to leave the family alone to get some rest. Mike can stay everyone else OUT" Don declared.

" Why?" Raph snapped.

 " Mike gets to stay because he is the father" Don insisted.

 " You don't know that for sure Donny I could be the father" Raph disputed the fact.

 " We won't know that for sure until we do a DNA test and I'm not going to do that right now. Mike has acted the role of the father through out Shay's pregnancy and delivery so Mike can stay. You can't" with that, said Don shoved Raph out of the room. Raph might have been willing to cause trouble over it but with Splinter and Leo close by he probably decided to leave well enough alone.

 I went and turned down the lights a bit before sitting back down by Shay's bed I reached over and tentatively caressed the baby's cheek with one finger. She had finished eating and was now sleeping with her mouth making little sucking motions even as she slept.

" So now that, that is all over do you want to fool around?" I asked Shay.

 " No! Never again!" Shay laughed teasing me back as she laid back to relax on the bed.

I sat back and watched mother and daughter feeling strangely peaceful and content. A desire to protect both of them and keep them safe surged up form deep inside of me somewhere. I had to wonder if Raph truly was the father of this little miracle child. She wasn't human, she wasn't mutant, and she wasn't a turtle she was it seemed a bit of all three. So much like my brothers and I and yet so different. She had opened doors to whole new possibilities for us and we were all family and we cared for each other even when we didn't act like it.

The first few days everyone spoiled that baby girl and she was crawling by the time she was three days old. Don figured it had to do with her having turtle in her after all turtles are hatched knowing how to move and boy could she EVER!

Neither Shay or I had been expecting her to be moving around so quickly after birth and I was only starting to realize what a handful we must have been for Splinter, how he ever managed to keep track of all four of us on his own I'll never know. Our little girl seemed to be getting into everything including corners, and spots that just wasn't too safe for her it was just as well we had so many willing capable hands to fish her out of trouble as we did.

Then there were diapers to be changed. I mean sure we could let her run around bare butt naked like we did but that could get a little messy and I don't think any of us would want to step in what she left behind her so diapers were the thing. She seemed to get rid of the stuff as fast as she put it in.

We were woken up every two hours by her need to be fed and changed through the night. The family had actually given Shay and I a separate sleeping area, which was far enough from their rooms they wouldn't be disturbed by her cries. As it was bigger then my old bedroom we could have a section just for the baby to sleep in.

I was starting to feel more worn out then I ever had with any of our four hour training sessions I mean at least with those you know the training would end in four hours but taking care of a kid especially one as active as she was happened to be a twenty four seven type job.

I was starting to hope she was Raph's kid Shay and I both figured if she was we would give her to Raph for one full night so we could sleep for a change.

By the fifth day Don had the results of the test and was ready to reveal who the true blood father was of Shay's baby girl.

" So Raph" Don glanced over at him " When you hear the results are you going to start taking some responsibility for the child or not?"

Raph didn't seem phased he just looked at Don and shot back " Well that all depends on whose kid it is doesn't it?"

" Well I have proven it to a 99.95 rate so I just hope that you are ready to accept this. Is everyone really sure you WANT to know now?"

" Come on Don will you stop torturing us all ready and just spit it out. Enough with the game playing all ready." I snapped at him. I was wound up tight over this I didn't know why he had to drag it out. Raph laughed at my impatience.

" Mike it's okay your the father. I just wanted to see if I could get Raph going" Don admitted casually.

" Really? I…"

Don nodded smiling at me.

I…I was the father. The little girl was my own flesh and blood. A product of the love Shay and I had first shared between us for the first time. I knew then that the name I had chosen for her was right. I'd been debating about what to call her for the last five days but this news confirmed that to me at least there was no better name for MY daughter.

" Good because I have a name all picked out for this little girl. I've been considering that Raph might have been the dad and I sort of been combining the letters from his name and my name but the name I liked the most was Ramiela" I announced to the family.

The first few months seemed to fly by with how fast she moved around. Shay had grown a little distant but I put it down to her chasing after a rambunctious baby around our home. Let's face it human children didn't move this early on in their lives and I know it took a great deal of my energy to keep up with her. That child had to be mine she was such a bundle of energy she couldn't sit still. She even wore me out and I usually have energy to spare.

Shay got Ramiela drinking from a bottle so we could feed her in shifts at night and let both of us hopefully get a little more sleep.

One thing I never grew tired of seeing was watching Raph play with her. It was rather amusing to see my bad tempered brother wrapped around the baby's finger. He seemed to mellow out a bit around her as if she helped to calm his wild temper.

It was hilarious!

Shay had often talked to her parent's through her pregnancy and they were asking her to come home but she didn't feel ready for that yet. Which was understandable I mean she was a mother now herself and how could she ever explain Ramiela to the outside world? Our daughter looked too much like us mutant turtles- a freak- who would have to stay hidden from the outside world her entire life.

In no time at all almost five and a half months had past Shay past her fifteenth birthday and Ramiela seemed to be growing and changing a little bit every day. She was bigger both in length and weight, her shell had grown harder now and it was almost impossible to see where her umbilical cord had been for her plastron had filled in leaving just the tiniest of marks, a little dent. Her face was still round but her cheeks seemed to be taking on definition as she aged and she had her mother's dark hair and greenish grey eyes.

One night I heard Ramiela crying and as Shay wasn't in the room with me that she had gone to care for her. But the baby's cries continued so I figured I best go check up on her.

She usually slept through the nights now but there were times she'd wake up needing a change or demanding a feeding as if she had the midnight munchies. I went to the section that was her bedroom I didn't see Shay there as I picked my daughter out of her crib. I changed her diaper and went to get her a bit of milk to drink. I sat down in a rocking chair rocking her slowly crooning little nothing words to her to help soothe her as she drank. Finally she fell back to sleep and I packed her back to her crib which April had found for us.

I returned to my own bed to see that Shay was still missing I felt something cold enter the pit of my stomach and then I saw some folded papers with my name on them on the bedside table.

I didn't know if I wanted to see those papers or not but I had to open it knowing it wouldn't get any better by leaving them alone.

Dear Michael,

   I have been wanting to tell you this for some time now. For at least this past month but I didn't know how to begin and I was a little afraid that if I tried to tell you to your face you would only talk me into staying here instead of letting me go.

I stopped and my hand shook involuntarily Shay had left me and Ramiela. I couldn't understand why she would want to leave us. I looked back down at the letter hoping it would answer the many questions that ran through my brain.

Do you remember when I had talked of all the mistakes I made in my life? Back when I first found out I was pregnant. I wanted to correct my mistakes and get my life back on track. I realized then that I wasn't fit to be a mother not with all the mistakes I had left behind me. I felt that if I had an abortion that it would just be another mistake and I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking an innocent life. I felt that if I had miscarried that it would be different that the life had never meant to be born in the first place. Trying to give birth to the child was the only way I knew to start making things right. I don't regret that choice of giving birth to her but by doing so I also realized even more what I must have put my own parents through. I saw the love and understanding that you and your whole family gave to me. How they accepted me so easily into their lives.

You Michael more then anyone have taught me the true meaning of love. Love I now know is caring, tenderness, understanding, compassion. It has nothing at all to do with anger or hatred. I used to hate myself and some of the things that I did and when my parent's got mad at me I just felt like they were trying to run my life and not let me make my own choices. So I kept doing things I know in my heart was wrong and doing worse stuff all of the time and hating myself for it.

You taught me you showed me that it didn't have to be like that.

You were the first person that I ever really LOVED and I would do almost any thing for you because I also know you would do it for me. It just isn't words that you use to get something out of me. Try to understand while I love you and little Ramiela both I can't stay…

There are things I know that I ought to be doing with my life and I have fought with myself for some time now. I felt that I should stay with you. But I know you also said that you wanted me to be happy too and I don't know if I'd be happy if I ended up staying.

I know I am too young to be a mother and sometimes I get scared even though I know your family is there to help raise her and look after her. I also know I can't spend the rest of my life living in the sewers hiding from the world. I have been longing to go above and feel the sun and the rain on my skin, to walk barefoot over the grass. I want to be around other people and I know if I stayed with you that sooner or later my desire to be above would outweigh the need to stay below. I'd start feeling trapped and who knows what could happen to our love then.

I have been thinking of returning home to work things out with my parents. Go back to school, maybe get some counseling try and correct some of the mistakes that I have made before I came to New York and get my life back on track. My parents have wired me some money and a ticket to come home.

I don't want to leave now but I know in the end I will leave you anyways because I can't stay in the sewers. I feel it now and it has only gotten worse as time goes on. I would rather leave now then two or three years from now when Ramiela is older and possibly more attached to me so the parting would be much worse for her at that time then this. I wanted to bring her with me but I know she won't be accepted above for the wonderful, special child that she is.

Ramiela I leave with you to raise. I know she will grow up loved, cared for and spoiled. I know that your family will help you raise her into a wonderful person like yourself. I know you will teach her all she needs to know to survive in this crazy world we live in.

You have helped me in so many ways that you will never fully know. I will never forget you or Ramiela. I promise I will write you care of April when I can. I'll also send you what money I can when I am able to, to help with raising her.

I'm so sorry for doing this to you Michael. I just don't think that I could handle it in any other way. I do love you very much and I will think of you often. It's just right now I feel I have to get my own life back on track.

I love you always,

Shay.

 I bowed my head feeling tears roll from my eyes. She was gone out of my life and I probably would never see her again. She had left me to return home. To think I had been the idiot who had convinced her to call home in the first place.

I knew why she wanted to go home. I tried to understand her reasoning's but I couldn't help but feel she had betrayed me and my feelings for her.

I sat there feeling numb for some time before wandering out to the kitchen to get a drink and Leo was there he took one look at me and knew something was up.

" Mike what's wrong?"

 " Shay left Leo. She went home sometime tonight" I replied morosely.

 " Ramiela?"

" Shay left her here. She knew it would be better for her to stay with us."

 Leo seemed to consider this for a moment then spoke again " Mike you did say that you wanted Shay to be happy right?"

 " Yeah but I thought she would stay with us Leo" I protested.

 " Maybe she felt she couldn't be happy here until she worked things out at home with her own family and parents. She is human I don't think any human could ever fully accept a lifetime down here in hiding not when they are so use to all the world offers them up there. Sooner or later Shay would have gone back and I think deep down you knew that all along Mike. I know you really did love her so I'm sorry about her leaving I know you are hurting but I think even you know the truth of what I'm saying. Besides you will always have Shay in Ramiela.

Ramiela is a part of our family and she is very special. As family we will be here to help you raise her so that all of her needs are met. She might end up longing for some things that we may never be able to provide for her but her essential needs will be met food, warmth, love, protection and shelter she will have all that to spare.

Who knows Mike Shay may come back to visit I doubt she could leave Ramiela behind and not come to see how her daughter is doing once in a while."

 " You really think so Leo?"

 " The possibility is there Mike."

 " I know you are right about all of that Leo. It's just I am going to miss her so damn much."

" I know that Mike" Leo gave me a hug " It is for the best though and I think somewhere inside of you, you know that. Shay is going home top work things out with her family and it is for the best. You had her love for a time but it was a love that changed things a great deal for both of you. Now in the big world above you can bet Shay will be looking for the Michaelangelo types instead of Raphael types. Think about it Mike. Good Night."

I didn't have to think about it I knew Leo was right.

I was lucky to have Shay's love for a short time that I had it. I was even luckier that she had given me a daughter, which she had left in my care. I would always have Shay in Ramiela and I knew with my family's help I could mold my daughter into a special person just like her mom and a little of me too.

Author's Note: For those who want to see how Mike molds Ramiela or Rama check out the Rama series. " The Legacy" and " A Bond of friendship" Plus one Rama short story " Respect Honor and Ninja."


End file.
